Empathy
by MagicalFish
Summary: Hisoka gets captured for an experiment by Muraki
1. Default Chapter

My very first attempt at YnM fanfiction..Don't laugh at me! I see you laughing! I'll kill you! _ Respect my authorit-eh!  
  
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Hisoka placed the decorations on the cake with exquisite care. It was February 24th, Tsuzuki's birthday, and despite Hisoka's complaints about his "infantile" behavior, he felt obliged to indulge Tsuzuki in his sweet tooth. He hoped no one else would be at Tsuzuki's apartment when he brought over the cake. He would never live it down if Tatsumi or Watari saw the stoic Hisoka bringing a cake for the partner he had labeled "a useless baka." Not to mention.other reasons, that Hisoka was still not capable of admitting to himself.  
Hisoka sighed as he squeezed the icing tube in frustration. He liked to be with Tsuzuki, and he enjoyed it even more when no one was there cataloguing his actions. Tsuzuki made Hisoka feel more open with himself, and Hisoka trusted him far more than anyone else he had ever met in his entire life-and afterlife. He was still confused, though, at what exactly he wanted from Tsuzuki-or what Tsuzuki might want from him.  
The shutter on his apartment window banged suddenly, and Hisoka started, dropping the tube of icing he had been holding. It fell to the floor with an audible thud, spraying his shoes and the floor with dark purple icing. Hisoka cursed in annoyance at his own clumsiness, and bent to pick it up-when a familiar, chilling voice made him freeze in terror and disbelief.  
"Isn't that sweet? My puppet has made a cake." Muraki laughed, knowing what the effect of his very presence would be on Hisoka. Hisoka whirled, backing up against the wall in terror, all thoughts of Tsuzuki and his cake abandoned. He stared at Muraki with eyes as big as saucers, too stunned and afraid to think of any reason why he would be here, in his home. Memories of what Muraki had done to him, his murder, began to flash through his mind and panicked him, and his panic was offset by Muraki's cold, demonic emotionlessness. Muraki smiled.  
Can't you calm yourself? I'm not afraid." His smile turned into a maniacal grin, and he reached up to touch Hisoka's face, holding him in thrall. "Could you make me afraid?" Hisoka tried to turn, to run even though he knew it was pointless, and was too frightened to notice Muraki's other hand incanting the spell that would knock him out and bind him.  
  
Tsuzuki whistled happily. Today was his birthday, and he knew Hisoka would be here soon with some form of sweet, whether bought or handmade. He weathered Hisoka's constant insults with nothing but smiles and good grace, knowing that the boy was too innocent to actually try to hurt him. Innocent and fragile, he mused, his thoughts wandering to his favorite subject. Hisoka always refused to look at anyone, as if afraid that doing so would betray his inner secrets. The few times that he had made eye contact with Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki had been ecstatic, certain that Hisoka would tell him how much he needed him, and how much he wanted him.and then it would lead to other things.  
Tsuzuki shook his head, clearing it of such thoughts. In reality, Hisoka was far to withdrawn to ever say anything like that. Whenever he had looked at him, his eyes had been full of trust, and some other inexplicable emotion that Tsuzuki could not trace. Tsuzuki trusted to fate, though, that someday Hisoka would sort everything out and come to him for something other than comfort.  
Tsuzuki checked his watch, noting that it was later than he had thought. He had sent Tatsumi and Watari away, insisting that they boy would never show up if they hung around. Now, though, he wished he hadn't. He felt lonely, and debated going to see Hisoka at his apartment instead of waiting for him. He decided to stay home, though, musing with humor that if he showed up at Hisoka's, he would only look desperate for candy. He sipped quietly at the wine that Watari had given him; a wine which he had promised would be the strongest and purest vintage the underworld could come up with. Apparently Watari had not been exaggerating, as Tsuzuki fell into a drunken sleep in his chair.  
  
The next day, Watari hummed in his lab, working on a new explosive that, he hoped, would render Shikigami temporarily paralyzed, and thus leave the one that had summoned them open to attack. He didn't exactly have a purpose for it, but.it exploded, right? That was reason enough.  
He winced when he heard a loud crash coming from Tatsumi's office. He put his beaker down, hoping that the sound waves had not diluted the mixture, and stepped into the hall, wondering what had happened. There stood a very mischievous looking Tsuzuki, who was absentmindedly throwing Tatsumi's papers all over the place. Tatsumi appeared soon after, shouting at the top of his lungs for Tsuzuki to stop.  
"What in hell are you doing!?" He screamed, his normally expressionless face a very interesting shade of red. Watari giggled at the site, and Tatsumi shot him a withering glare before turning back to Tsuzuki.  
"I wanted to talk to you, and you weren't here, so I thought that if I made noise you would come.and you did!" Tsuzuki smiled engagingly at the enraged shadow master, perfectly apologetic and seemingly ignorant of the nuisance he had made of himself.  
Tatsumi narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth as if to say something, but faced with Tsuzuki's vomit inducing cutness, just rolled his eyes in exasperation. "All right, what is it?"  
Tsuzuki's expression changed to one of barely concealed anxiety. "Did you send Hisoka somewhere? 'Cause I haven't seen him and I called him but he didn't answer and he didn't even visit yesterday." His tone changed from anxious to melancholy as he narrated the last part of his message.  
Watari's eyebrows shot up. He knew, from very clandestine sources, that Hisoka had been planning to visit Tsuzuki yesterday, and that he had been planning to make him a cake. Something must have happened to keep him from coming.The same something that was making him late for work for the first time since he had been employed here.  
Tatsumi began to look worried as well. "You mean he's not with you? I thought that." his sentence was interrupted as Tsuzuki, now frantic, began begging.  
"Will you let me off from work to find him!? I have to find him! He could be hurt or sick or drunk or." He trailed off as his imagination began conjuring less easily solved scenarios. He turned puppy eyes on Tatsumi, who looked grim.  
"Go visit his apartment. If he's not there, come back here.he might just be really late." From his tone, Watari could tell that Tatsumi was worried, but was trying to hide it.  
Tsuzuki immediately grabbed his coat, ready to go. Watari flew after him, grabbing his arm.  
"Wait! I want to find Hisoka too!" Tsuzuki simply nodded, too worried to argue, and the two teleported immediately to the mortal world, outside of Hisoka's apartment building, their Shinigami powers making any passersby think that they had always been there. Tsuzuki flew up the concrete steps to Hisoka's apartment, and began rapping on the door loudly enough to wake everyone in the whole complex.  
"Hisoka?! 'Soka chan, are you there?" When he received no response, he turned worried eyes to Watari, who expertly picked the lock with a bobby pin. Tsuzuki rushed inside, his eyes scanning the room wildly.  
At first glance, nothing was out of place. The apartment was impeccably neat, as usual, with every object in its logical spot. But it was quiet, and something felt wrong.Watari's scientific mind picked out that the shower had not been used that morning, as there was no humidity in the air, at about the same time that Tsuzuki found the single red rose planted in the cake that had been intended for him.  
"Muraki!" 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2! Yay! Rating turned to R for violence.  
  
Muraki waited patiently for his student to wake up. Apparently, cutting him while he was unconscious had been ineffective. He supposed he needed a more psychologically damaging regime in order to unlock the ability he wanted.  
Hisoka groaned, his eyes still closed, as he came to. Muraki grinned, his thin lips forming a ghastly excuse for a smile.  
"Are you awake? You have much to learn." He slammed his knife into Hisoka's shoulder, and Hisoka screamed, coming to full awareness, and remembered what had happened. He didn't have a chance to talk, however, as Muraki cut him feverishly, waiting for past cuts to heal within seconds so he could cut there again. His Shinigami healing powers weren't helping Hisoka now, he thought with humor.  
Hisoka thrashed under the onslaught, finding that he was bound with tightly tied rope, and it cut into his wrists and ankles painfully. His blood stained the rope, and he screamed, trying to overcome the pain with noise. This went on for a while before Muraki stopped, slapping Hisoka painfully across the face. This wasn't working either.  
Hisoka stared at him with big eyes, too dazed to say anything, while his numerous cuts healed. He realized slowly that he was naked, and he again tried to pull away from the wall where he was bound, terrified of what Muraki might do to him in this situation.  
Muraki, however, looked annoyed. He didn't particularly care for Hisoka, and torturing him while keeping him from passing out was going to be difficult. The reward would be worth it, though, and he would have fun testing out his hypothesis.  
"Do you remember why your parents locked you up?" He asked, putting his face close to Hisoka's trembling one. Hisoka merely stared at him stupidly.  
"Answer the question!" Muraki hit him again, this time with the flat blade of the knife. Tears came to Hisoka's eyes, and he cried out. Muraki hit him over and over until Hisoka screamed out loud.  
"I don't know, I don't know!" Apparently satisfied, Muraki stopped, letting Hisoka's head hang limply while the bruises on his face vanished.  
"Well, that's not helpful. I think I can guess, though. You'll have to show me." With that, he left Hisoka hanging there, walking out of the room. Hisoka stared after him, dazed and in pain, wondering why he was in this hell. Why had Muraki asked him that? Why did he care? He had tortured and killed him, wasn't that enough? He began to get angry, and sobbed in frustration in fear.  
Muraki came back, this time with something in his hand. It looked like a scalpel, and Hisoka started breathing faster, as a tortured one does when seeing his torturer try something new.  
Muraki said nothing, and then shoved the scalpel in Hisoka's ear, rupturing the eardrum and digging further, totally destroying Hisoka's sense of balance. He screamed, and he couldn't sense where he was, his head spinning and the pain absolutely blinding. He tried to hold his head still, but the world spun around him anyway, mockingly. Had Muraki moved him? Suddenly the spinning slowed, as his healing powers took effect, and the pain lessened as his eardrum rebuilt itself. Muraki frowned and did it again, this time leaving the instrument in his ear, leaving Hisoka in private hell. He screamed until his voice gave out, his body unsuccessfully trying to heal around the intrusion. He threw up in his dizziness, and Muraki was disgusted, hitting him across the face again as he pulled out the instrument. Hisoka passed out gratefully, only to be slapped awake immediately by Muraki.  
"I want you to hate me!" He hissed into his ear, and then held his chin up firmly, staring into his eyes. Muraki imagined it was Tsuzuki tied up like this, Tsuzuki staring at him.He needed to, for his purposes. Hisoka began to tremble as he felt Muraki against him, and then screamed in pain as Muraki mounted him standing up. As Muraki raped him, he screamed, remembering his words. "I want you to hate me." He felt violated, dirty, he wanted to die, and he wanted Muraki to die, to feel what he was feeling.  
That was the key. He threw down the barriers he had erected as a tiny child, and threw his emotions into the void that was Muraki. He dredged up all his pain, his frustration, his sickness at his violation. He remembered all the torture Muraki had put him through, now and when he had killed him, and through it all he ran his thread of hatred, hatred for the man that had done this to him. He threw his empathy at Muraki until he had temporarily exhausted his newfound ability, and fell limp and exhausted, dazed at what he had done, before passing out.  
Muraki pulled out of Hisoka, and smiled. Yes, he was fast learner.  
  
Hisoka woke up, and immediately felt the pain in his wrists and ankles, and the feeling of dried blood on his body. He screamed in frustration as he remembered what Muraki had done, and ignoring his sadness and fear, threw out his empathy, searching for the void that was Muraki. He attacked him again, focusing on his pain, making Muraki feel all the pain he had ever felt. He closed his eyes, hoping that Muraki would die from the sensations.  
The slap across his face stunned him out of his concentration. Muraki looked at him, a cruel smile on his face, and slapped him again, so hard that it brought tears to Hisoka's eyes.  
"Good students don't attack their teacher." Hisoka cried in horror, why wasn't it working? Was his new technique useless?  
"Don't worry, puppet. I can teach you lots of things.You'll be able to control anyone you want. You could even make Tsuzuki love you." He smiled cruelly at this last, and Hisoka turned his bruised face away from him, in tears. 'I'll never do that! This is wrong; it's all Muraki's fault...I'll kill him!'  
Muraki simply left him to his own thoughts, smiling like a cat. Things were going very well. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter..um, 3, yeah. Woot.  
  
"Tsuzuki! Come look at this! Tsuzuki started from his pacing. It had been what, almost 3 days since Hisoka had been captured, and despite Tsuzuki's racing around Tokyo looking for any links to Muraki, he had found nothing alluding to his whereabouts. His nervousness and desperation had begun to affect even the stoic Tatsumi, who had decided to let Tsuzuki work on this case only.  
He ran into Watari's lab, who was gesturing frantically at a TV terminal. Tsuzuki dashed up to the fizzy screen, staring openmouthed at the image of Muraki, who was speaking to a reporter.  
".So this "mass panic," as you stated, was due solely to a psychological tendency of people to react subconciously to the emotions of others to a small degree. It culminated, in this case, into a mass hysteria, which has happened before in societies." Muraki grinned at the reporter, apparently pleased with his explanation.  
"Thank you, Dr. Muraki." The flaxen haired reporter said, smiling dazzlingly at the camera. "Once again, that was Dr. Muraki, speaking on the incident that affected about 1000 people a day ago. Now we go to weather."  
Tsuzuki stared past Watari, apparently thinking hard. Suddenly, he grabbed him, a feverish light in his eyes. "Muraki must know something! Find out everything you can about that incident! I'll go find that reporter!" With that, Tsuzuki flew out of the room, his trench coat flowing behind him. Watari blinked owlishly after him, and then turned to his computer, humming as his fingers flew over the keys.  
  
Tsuzuki ran down the streets of Tokyo, looking for the reporter he had seen on television only a moment ago, or even better, Muraki himself. He jostled several people on the way, who gave him murderous glares, but he didn't stop. Finally, he reached the scenery he had seen on TV-but too late, it seemed. All he saw were the signs of daily life, and not even a news van for his trouble. He sighed, frustrated. How long had it taken him to get here? Surely not that long..He renewed his determination, scanning the streets for any sign of Muraki, hoping beyond hope that the sadistic man would pull one of his taunts and come after him personally. It had been far too long since he had seen Hisoka, and even if Muraki wouldn't tell him where he was, at least he could verify if Hisoka was still alive. As the minutes passed, however, and he found no sign, Tsuzuki's hopes began to flag. Muraki could not be found if he did not want to be, and it appeared as if he did not wish to, this time.  
The beeping of his cellular phone snapped him out of his momentary despair. He grabbed it, wishing fervently that it was Muraki, or better, Hisoka, telling him that he was okay.  
To his disappointment, it was Watari's voice who greeted him over the phone, but Watari's message rekindled his hope.  
"Tsuzuki! Come back to my lab, right now! I think I've found something!"  
  
Watari waited patiently for Tsuzuki after he hung up the phone, reviewing the data he had found. If this was true, it would lead to Muraki.but how had the man been able to do something like this to so many people? Muraki never ceased to amaze him, and it annoyed him slightly, that someone of his scientific prowess could be outthought by a mortal doctor.  
The door banging brought him to attention, and he looked over at a panting Tsuzuki. "What is it? Did you find him?" Tsuzuki did not specify who "him" was, but Watari understood nonetheless.  
"Look at this. I found out a lot about that "mass hysteria" he spoke about, and it acted much like a wave spreading in a circle, affecting people after a certain amount of time. The farther away they were, the more time it took to affect them." He paused, caught up in his own calculations and pleasure that he could help. "So, if you measure the amount of time it took to affect people, you can find the speed of this "wave" and by comparing it to the location of the first case, I can limit it's origin to.." His fingers flew over the keys. "..This building." The image popped up on the computer's screen, an old, dilapidated building in the center of what looked to be a very poor district. "If he's anywhere in Tokyo, he'll be there."  
Tsuzuki studied the picture, and the map around it, before squeezing Watari in a back-breaking hug. "Thank you, thank you thank you! I'm going to find him!" With that, he ran out of the room for the second time that day, leaving a befuddled Watari calling after him.  
"Wait! You should bring someone to help.." But Tsuzuki was already gone.  
  
Hisoka groaned. It had been at least a day since Muraki had last spoke to him, or at least, that's what it felt like. Muraki had been cruel in experimenting with his new technique, doing everything save killing him to test its limits. Focusing it, expanding it, until Hisoka lost consciousness from exhaustion, Muraki had pushed him to his limits, and Hisoka hated him all the more for it. Muraki forced him to use his power in new, strange ways, and then he acted so sickeningly sweet when Hisoka finally accomplished something new, as if he was his pet and was doing it by choice.Hisoka always felt disgusted with himself afterward, berating himself that he should be stronger, that he shouldn't let Muraki abuse him this way. He had tried, countless times, to use his technique on Muraki, focusing it as well as he could, but Muraki failed to respond. Maybe it was useless, or maybe Muraki had some sort of power over its effects.Hisoka didn't know, and didn't care. He wouldn't stop trying. He was bound to catch him off guard eventually, and when he did, he would kill him with it if he could. How ironic that would be.  
His vision blurred with weakness and fatigue, and he felt dizzy. The pain from Muraki's last beating had faded, but fatigue was not something a Shinigami could escape. He felt incredibly thirsty, but he would not lower himself by calling out for Muraki to help him.screaming for anyone else would be useless, he had tried, and had only gotten punished for it.  
Suddenly, he heard footsteps, and his heart began to race, pounding in his ears. Muraki must have returned, and Hisoka began to focus, reaching out. He lacked the finesse that he had when Muraki forced him to concentrate under punishment of a beating or worse, but he didn't care. It was focus he needed. He heard the footsteps pick up their pace, and Muraki said something, but Hisoka didn't hear what. He lashed out; using every negative emotion he had against his enemy. He heard a scream, and a cruel satisfaction flickered in his emotions before he put it behind a barrier, focusing his pain and torment into Muraki. Finally, he had him! The knowledge of the power he had finally occurred to him, and he tightened his focus, dredging up long forgotten tortures of his past to use. He could kill him, he thought; He remembered what it was like to die, the pain Muraki had put him through, and used that as well, praying that Muraki would succumb to the experience itself.  
"Hisoka! Please...stop."  
Hisoka froze, his torrent of emotions frozen as well as the voice cut through his concentration, fighting against the dizziness that assailed him. He looked down at the person he had been torturing as he slumped against the wall where Hisoka was bound, unconscious.  
It had not been Muraki. It was Tsuzuki.  
Then he heard Muraki, the real Muraki. Laughing. "Oh, you are such a good student!" He grinned at Hisoka's horrified expression, picking up the limp Tsuzuki, and then walked out of the room. Hisoka screamed.  
Oh god, what had he done? He wanted to die, he had hurt Tsuzuki, and then he had gloried in it! It didn't occur to him to remember that he had thought it was Muraki; Tsuzuki had felt his pain, he had made him feel everything he had been through, and he had wanted to kill him. Tsuzuki thought he had wanted to kill him! He sobbed, fighting against his bonds in vain once more, struggling so hard that he cut his skin against them. He had to fix it.He screamed, hoping that Tsuzuki would hear him, and screamed when he remembered that he very well could have killed him. No, he had to be alive.He had to be!  
"Tsuzuki!" He screamed his name over and over, until his exhaustion overcame him.  
  
Okay, end of chapter 3. Just thought I'd mention that the way Watari finds out the building where Hisoka is is the same way people find the epicenters of earthquakes. Pretty neat, huh? Anyhoo, hope you're enjoying the story so far. The next chapter might be the last, I'm not sure. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4, in which stuff happens. Eat your heart out, A. Milne.  
  
Tsuzuki had taken too long.  
After he had left, Watari had gone back to his research, finally isolating the part of the explosive that caused the strange effect on Shikigami creatures. He had since added it to every mixture he could, and was anxious to test it. Of course, he couldn't, without Tsuzuki around, and was starting to become nervous with the amount of time Tsuzuki was taking. Tsuzuki had stood up to Muraki before, and had been perfectly alright, but that could not erase Watari's feelings of ominousness. He had expected a triumphant Tsuzuki returning with Hisoka, begging Tatsumi for time off so he could help Hisoka recover from whatever Muraki had done to him. The quiet was depressing, and Watari went to find Tatsumi.  
He was startled to discover that Tsuzuki had taken even longer than he had thought; Tatsumi had left for home, and it was well past midnight. This new revelation heightened Watari's nervousness, and he was quickly on the phone with Tatsumi.  
"Hm.Watari? Now? Isn't it kind of late.?"  
"No, it's about Tsuzuki! He's not back! He went by himself to find Muraki and I told him to wait but he didn't and now he's gone-" Watari was interrupted by a suddenly alert Tatsumi.  
"I'll be over there in a minute, just wait. And prepare any weapons you might have." With that, Tatsumi hung up, his abrupt tone putting Watari even more on edge. Quickly, he ran back to his lab.  
  
Hisoka awoke slowly, his mind temporarily blocking out the memories. He ached terribly, and noticed, again, that he was still in the same situation that he had been in for almost four days now. Then the memories of Tsuzuki came back.  
He shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to give in to the pain. He had to think! Where was Tsuzuki? More importantly, where was Muraki? Was he with him? What would he do to Tsuzuki.What wouldn't he do to Tsuzuki. Hisoka cried out, hit with the helplessness of the situation. It was his fault! He hung his head, ashamed, and quickly began spiraling downward, his own guilt, sadness, and the fatigue from Muraki's torture overcoming him. He couldn't do anything...  
He heard a cry, and his head snapped up. Tsuzuki? Could it be? Maybe it was just his imagination, but it was enough to snap him out of his despair. He had to help him, somehow.  
He quickly gathered strength, and searched again with his empathy, trying to find Tsuzuki this time, instead of Muraki. He expanded his senses outward, hoping that Muraki hadn't taken Tsuzuki too far.  
He was rewarded, and he finally sensed Tsuzuki. He "knew" Tsuzuki, having known his emotional pattern ever since the incident at Nagasaki. He shrank back at first, wary of whatever pain Muraki had inflicted on Tsuzuki while Hisoka was unconscious. Then, he dredged up the few times in his life he had been happy, and content, and tried to relay those positive feelings to Tsuzuki.  
He remembered the time when Tsuzuki had told him that he'd always protect him and Hisoka's hope when Tsuzuki was nice to him. He dredged up all the comforts that Tsuzuki had shown him, and gave these positive things to Tsuzuki's psyche. Hisoka felt himself getting dizzy, but he couldn't stop, he had to help Tsuzuki! He imagined the feeling of strength, and the emotion of contentment, and tried to imprint on Tsuzuki everything beneficial that Hisoka could think of. He showed Tsuzuki the precious things that it had taken Tsuzuki so long to teach him. He began to sense a reaction in Tsuzuki, a deep emotion that Hisoka couldn't place, but one that made him feel stronger for having instigated it. This was so unlike the hatred and pain he had projected on Muraki before...He closed his eyes tightly and began to lose himself in the sea of emotions.  
Suddenly, his eyes flew open as he felt a cold steel slice through his midsection. He looked up at the angry face of Muraki, as he withdrew the knife, and hot pain seared him as his own stomach acid burned his intestines. He struggled to keep from crying out, but it was made easier when Muraki grabbed his face, bringing it close to his own.  
"You are not allowed to play with my tools!" He slammed Hisoka's head against the wall as he released him, and Hisoka blinked hard, trying not to black out. The wound in his abdomen was healing, but the burning of the acid had not abated. Tears blurred his vision as Muraki turned his back on him, walking away as if Hisoka were nothing. The world began to swirl around him as the fatigue from using his technique came upon him, and he struggled to hold onto something concrete so he could stay awake, and help Tsuzuki. He would never stop trying, as long as Muraki did not kill him.  
  
Watari, followed closely by Tatsumi, ran into the dilapidated building, each of them straining to pick up any sign of their coworkers. Tatsumi had brought nothing, but Watari held several vials of his new explosive, just in case Muraki was here and put up a fight. Watari's owl fluttered around his head, helping as another pair of eyes to find Hisoka or Tsuzuki. Suddenly, the owl darted down a long hallway, hooting excitedly. Watari picked up his pace, straining to keep his owl in sight, until he saw what the owl had seen-Hisoka, tied to a wall, and hanging limply with eyes unfocused.  
"Oh, Hisoka!" He ran to him, struggling to pull apart the cords that restrained him. They cut Watari's fingers as he did so, and he fumblingly pulled out a small pocketknife, slashing them to free Hisoka.  
"Can you hear me? Hisoka, say something!" Watari's tone summoned Tatsumi, who took one look at Hisoka and turned to Watari, his eyes frozen.  
  
"Take care of him. I'll find Tsuzuki." With that, he ran ahead, Watari's owl following him.  
Watari began examining Hisoka, taking his pulse and checking his breathing. Why wasn't he responding? Hisoka's eyes were unfocused, as if he wasn't aware of what was happening around him. Did he even know that Watari was here?  
"Tsu.zuki..Don't..fight." Hisoka breathed quietly, as if actually communicating with Tsuzuki. Watari held him worriedly, panicking that perhaps Tsuzuki had been hurt as well. He worked to clean the blood off of Hisoka, cursing the fact that he hadn't accompanied Tsuzuki, and had left Hisoka here that much longer.  
"Well, so I see you didn't learn your..." Muraki trailed off as he saw Watari, with the limp form of Hisoka in his arms. He smiled, and then began again, as if Watari wasn't there. "Hisoka, why don't you fight anymore? Have you forgotten what I taught you?" He approached menacingly, and Watari stood up, cradling Hisoka. He had never fought Muraki before, and with Hisoka in his arms he couldn't reach to get to his vials of explosives. Muraki smiled, as if knowing this, and moved gracefully, summoning a twisted creature, a three headed worm that spewed acid. He laughed as it loomed over a terrified Watari.  
"I suppose if my student won't fight for me, I can do it myself." The creature roared as it pulled back, and Watari was forced to dive out of the way as it crashed into the place where he had been standing. Hisoka was thrown from his arms as the shockwave gave Watari's leap more distance, and landed sickeningly on the concrete ground. He groaned once, and then finally his eyes shut as he passed out.  
Watari was luckier, and rolled to his feet, glancing worriedly at Hisoka's still form before pulling out one of his vials, facing Muraki with a courage he didn't feel. The building shook as the worm thrashed angrily at having missed its target, and reared back again. Watari closed his eyes in silent hope and threw the vial.  
The explosion rocked the building in its foundations, and even Muraki lost his balance. The worm shrieked, an earsplitting sound, before shaking as if being squeezed by an invisible hand. Suddenly, it began to shrink in on itself, curling up as if in pain. Muraki glared at Watari, no longer amused. He raised his hand for another attack, and Watari backed up towards Hisoka, not knowing what Muraki was planning but knowing that he could probably weather it better than the unconscious boy.  
Before Muraki could finish, a shadow wall surrounded him, cutting off his access to Watari.  
"What have I told you about messing with my Shinigami?!" It was the voice of Tatsumi, and he raised more shadows, spear like this time, and flung them at Muraki. Muraki leaped out of the way, but the shadow spears glanced him, causing blood to stain his white jacket. He doubled over, still glaring, but he knew when he was outnumbered.  
"Good luck finding your precious Tsuzuki!" He spat, and vanished in a flare of light.  
"Tatsumi!" Watari yelled happily, and then his voice changed to worry. "Did you find Tsuzuki?"  
"No," Tatsumi replied angrily. "I came back when I heard the explosion. How is Hisoka?"  
Watari looked over at Hisoka sadly, and walked over to him. "He's alive, but he's been hurt badly. And there's something wrong. He was awake before, but he acted distant, like he was preoccupied.  
Tatsumi looked worried as well, but stern. "Can you wake him? Maybe he knows where Tsuzuki is." Tatsumi was not one to waste resources, as long as they could be helpful, and he was anxious to find Tsuzuki. He didn't want to find out what Muraki may have done to him.  
They both walked over to Hisoka, slowly, so as not to startle him. "Hisoka," Watari said calmingly, shaking his shoulder gently. "Can you hear me? We need you."  
"Hisoka!" Tatsumi yelled, leaning down near him. "Wake up!"  
Hisoka's eyes flew open suddenly, and he looked unmistakably panicked. Watari quickly intervened. "'Soka, it's us! We're not going to hurt you, what's wrong?" Hisoka looked around for a moment, his panic not leaving him. His eyes focused on Watari, finally, and he relaxed before curling into a little ball, ashamed of his nakedness and vulnerability.  
"Hisoka" Tatsumi said, firmly, but with an aura of gentleness. "Do you know where Tsuzuki is?"  
Hisoka curled up tighter, hiding his face from the two. He couldn't tell them what he did, that it was his fault! He had to find Tsuzuki, then it would be over.His thoughts seemed jumbled and confused, and he began reaching out, not focusing on Tsuzuki this time, but the path that he could take to find him. His willed himself to focus on paths that Watari and Tatsumi could take, rather than willing his mind directly to Tsuzuki. Finally, he found him, and before he could help it, he tried to relay to Tsuzuki hope, trying to tell him that it would be alright. As soon as Tsuzuki sensed him, he threw up his walls, and Hisoka sensed conscious panic before receding. He was awake now, but he would not accept his help. He probably hated him, and Hisoka began to cry, hating himself for what he had done. Tsuzuki was right to hate him.  
"Hisoka!" Tatsumi yelled and shook him, and Hisoka came back to himself, repeating what he had seen in a monotone, his voice muffled by his hand that was covering his face. He told them all he knew, and he heard Tatsumi running to find Tsuzuki before the fatigue from his technique overtook him. The world swirled around him, and he closed his eyes tightly, trying to will it away. He felt Watari's hands picking him up, and a calm voice saying something, before he blacked out.  
  
Okay, I lied, this isn't the final chapter. There will be one more, probably pretty short, after this. Hey, five is a nice number of chapters to have, right? 


	5. Final chapter

Okay, final chapter. As my friend Riki would say "It are so suck."  
  
Hisoka went through several layers of consciousness before finally waking. First, he felt the sensation of lying down, instead of being brutally tied to a wall, and he could feel the softness of the sheets and pillows around him. Next, he heard the sound of wings fluttering, and finally, he opened his eyes, staring around at the pristine white room around him. He saw Watari's owl on a perch above him, and it suddenly registered that he was free. Muraki could not hurt him here.  
The events of the past few days flew through his mind. He remembered what Muraki had done to him, and finally, the reaction it had elicited. He curled up into a ball, feeling tainted and, even more than that, a deep feeling of guilt. He had attacked Tsuzuki, with a technique Muraki had taught him. It had not been a consensual "teaching," he thought bitterly, but that didn't matter. Tsuzuki..He had tried to help him, but as soon as Tsuzuki had regained consciousness and sensed Hisoka, he had fought him with all he had; putting up his walls with more force than Hisoka had ever been able to sense from him before. Although, his powers of perception had never been so forcefully tested before.  
Hisoka shuddered. Tsuzuki had rejected him, and he deserved it. Tsuzuki did not want someone who had been tainted by Muraki, and who used techniques that Muraki formulated for his own uses. He was just a tool, if an unwilling one, and the wise never affiliated themselves with tools of the enemy. He curled into an even tighter ball, putting up his empathic walls so as to alienate himself from his environment, and sobbed. He made his walls stronger, adding his newfound strength, and didn't stop until he had nothing left to fortify them with. His sobs stopped, and an eerie peace filled him, making him lightheaded. He was safe. With nothing here, he was alone. No one could touch him, and no emotion could sway him.  
  
Tsuzuki wandered into the building, immediately heading into the room where Hisoka had lain unconscious for two days. He had to see him, to see if he was okay, and comfort him if he needed it. Watari had warned him that the boy might need some time alone, but Tsuzuki wanted to be there when he awoke. He wanted Hisoka to know that he was there for him, and always would be no matter what hardships either of them might face. He couldn't remember much after he had fallen unconscious from Hisoka's empathic attack, save that he had constantly been fighting against Muraki's verbal maltreatment. Tsuzuki reflected on the event. He had gotten out unscathed, and he was proud of Hisoka for being able to bring one of the most powerful shinigami to his knees. Hisoka's attack had been terrifying, but it had also allowed him to see where Hisoka's vulnerability came from. He had felt pain, and deep emotional sorrow, but had been unable to sense from what events each came from. He had spent the last two days thinking about these revelations; how much of the pain he had felt was from what Hisoka had undergone then, and how much was from Hisoka's tortured life? It had been too much for him to take, and he only felt more protectiveness for the boy, now that he had experienced the pain that Hisoka had. He wanted to talk to him, to tell him that it was a great step in their relationship. He knew that Hisoka had meant it for Muraki; he had sensed the boy's hatred, and had been able to locate the source of that emotion quite easily.  
He breezed into Hisoka's room, and was stunned to realize it was empty. Where was Hisoka? He began to panic; Muraki wouldn't have recaptured him, would he? No, the sheets were clean and the bed had been made, so that ruled out a struggle. He ran into Watari's lab, which was adjacent to the infirmary.  
Watari looked at him as if he had been expecting him. "Hisoka woke up and went home. He didn't look like himself, though. He was really pale, and he wouldn't let me touch him..." Watari trailed off, his tone betraying his worry and concern. He sighed, and simply said "You should go see him, I think."  
Tsuzuki was off before Watari had finished his last sentence.  
It wasn't long before Tsuzuki was standing at the door to Hisoka's apartment, pounding on it urgently. Why had he left? What had Muraki done to him that would make him act like that? Did he..Tsuzuki didn't want to consider the implications, and merely pounded harder on the door, shouting Hisoka's name.  
Hisoka had been expecting him. He walked solemnly to the door, annoyed that Tsuzuki had to be so loud. He kept his empathic walls up firmly, his newfound ability having increased his strength incredibly. He opened the door, expecting Tsuzuki to be angry. He did not expect the concern that crossed Tsuzuki's features.  
"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki dashed forward to hit-no, hug him?-and Hisoka backed out of the way, confused now. What was Tsuzuki doing? He was not angry, or disgusted. He looked genuinely worried. Tsuzuki backed up, looking at Hisoka as if judging what his reactions might be.  
Hisoka looked different. He didn't look vulnerable or even scared or sad-he simply looked indifferent, as if he didn't care what happened to him. "Hisoka....What did he do to you?"  
The emotions behind his walls stirred, but Hisoka quelled them immediately. It would not hurt if he kept them away. All he had to do was keep up his walls, and nothing would hurt him. He would be away from everyone, simply doing his job, forming no attachments. Emotions only hurt. Tsuzuki's words stirred them, and he didn't like that at all.  
"Hisoka, please, won't you talk to me? I don't know what he did to you, but I can help..Your new power, did he give it to you? You've never used it like that before"  
"Shut up!" Hisoka yelled, Tsuzuki's words shaking the foundations of his walls. He had thought it was enough, but it wasn't. He had to make them stronger, and Tsuzuki wasn't helping. Anger at Tsuzuki welled up momentarily, being replaced by guilt, and then sadness. His emotions were leaking through, and he didn't have enough strength to stop them.  
"Hisoka, please!" Tsuzuki touched him on the shoulder, tenderly, and Hisoka screamed with pain as his walls broke, and he was inundated with his own locked emotions. He had tried to help himself, but he wasn't strong enough, and he cried with his guilt and pain, at the feelings of dirtiness, and at his own weakness. He wasn't strong enough; he would never be strong enough! He tried to rebuild his walls, but doing so only brought more pain, as if a hole was being ripped into him.  
"Tsuzuki..It hurts! Oh God, it hurts!" He stopped trying, as his emotions helped him to realize the futility of what he did. He didn't want to leave everyone, he didn't want to be emotionless, and mostly, he didn't want to be alone. He might not be able to handle Tsuzuki rejecting him, but he couldn't reject Tsuzuki. The last of his walls crumbled, and he fell, sobbing, to the floor.  
"Hisoka..." Tsuzuki knelt next to him, afraid to touch him until Hisoka grabbed his shoulder, looking at him with eyes full of anxiety and despair.  
"Tsuzuki, it hurts! What do I do! I can't...Don't leave me! Please don't hate me! I tried to fight; it was a mistake, and OH GOD, IT HURTS!" Hisoka felt like he was sinking into his own emotions, in a torrent since he had tried to lock them up. He needed something, anything, to hold onto, since he was in a whirl of his own making. The safe place he had tried to create was hurting him.  
"Hisoka! Please, hang onto me! Don't cry!" Tsuzuki grabbed his hand-And suddenly a bridge was formed. Hisoka's torrent of emotions flooded him as Tsuzuki's concern and love flowed into Hisoka. Hisoka latched onto it, not able to believe it was there. He wanted to take it, bring it into his safe place, behind his walls. It wouldn't go. He needed something to attach it to, to keep it. He reached for the strength of his empathy, and followed it into his own swirling emotions.  
With it, he found his own love, his love for Tsuzuki. He dropped Tsuzuki's emotions, and suddenly he was hit with a realization.  
He could not escape. He could shut himself away, let himself be pulled into an illusion, or he could stay..Stay with Tsuzuki. Staying away hurt to achieve, so why do it? He realized his own strength, as he examined Tsuzuki's love and compared it to his own. Tsuzuki held in his emotions the knowledge of Hisoka's strength and abilities, and his belief in Hisoka's goodness-His belief in Hisoka. Hisoka felt stupid, more stupid than he had ever felt in his life. He sorted out the pain and torment of his cyclone of emotions, putting them back where they belonged-in him. Finally, he compared his love for Tsuzuki and Tsuzuki's love for him, and discovered that they were the same. He abandoned his walls, throwing himself at Tsuzuki, hugging him, unable to believe his good fortune after such an ordeal. He cried, this time not with agony, but with relief, and Tsuzuki sensed it after a storm of his pain, and finally smiled, caressing him.  
"Hisoka. You know that I love you, right? Whatever he did to you, he can't beat us. He just makes us stronger."  
  
Muraki frowned. He didn't know where the brat was now, probably with his Tsuzuki, but he didn't care. His hypothesis had been right. He was always right, but that mattered little to him anyway. The technique had been interesting, but it hadn't filled him. Nothing could.  
  
The road is fraught with peril  
  
The river with unforeseen twists blocks and hindrances abound  
  
cloud, fog, and mist  
  
people bond together  
  
share their feelings  
  
as they travel down these paths  
  
I feel nothing, just a hole  
  
gnawing at what remains  
  
and the knowledge of the hole's existence  
  
is what really pains  
  
Alright, that's it. If you liked it, great! If you didn't..well, screw you guys, I'm going home. _ 


End file.
